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Lane Filler
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Hitting the candidates in a tough spot
Categories: Columns
Published: Sunday, August 26, 2007
Presidential aspirant and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee doesn't have to worry about making bail if he gets arrested on the campaign trail, or so the American Automobile Association membership card he carries in his wallet promises.
Wednesday at the Beacon Drive-In, I saw Huckabee pull out his wallet, trying to make a point about tamper-proof identification for immigrants. Inspired, I approached him moments later and said, "Show me the entire contents of your wallet and I will truly know you."
Huckabee: "Err ... OK."
He carried a handgun permit, frequent-flier club cards, five credit cards, two gift cards, a Marriott card, an AARP card, his hunting and fishing permit, expired duck stamps from last year, a slip listing the contact numbers of his band, Capitol Offense, and about $175 in cash, mostly in small bills.
He needs the frequent-flier cards because he travels on normal planes - US Airways for this trip. He needs the credit cards and cash because he pays for stuff. Some candidates have their staff handle the taxis and tips, but his national field director is his daughter, Sarah, so he's probably used to grabbing the tab.
The wallet tells me Huckabee is a fairly normal guy.
Ask John Edwards what's in his wallet and I suspect he'll answer, "You know, my daddy worked in a mill, and his wallet was made of cast-off cotton lint and elbow macaroni."
Me: "But what's in your wallet now?
Edwards: "Vidal Sassoon's cell number and $106,000 in cash."
One look at Dennis Kucinich and you figure he's probably carrying $11, a coupon for Gold Bond Medicated Powder and a Sam's Club membership card, all in a wallet with a Velcro fastening strip.
It's tough to imagine that a guy like Mitt Romney has a wallet. Can you picture him at the neighborhood Blockbuster (Does he even have a neighborhood?), fumbling for his Visa, caught up in the excitement of renting "Wedding Crashers" and hitting some Raisinets hard.
Assuming Rudy Giuliani carries snapshots of his wives and families, he wouldn't have room for much else.
Barack Obama is carrying either a list of smooth jazz tunes he wants to download or a spare key to the Batmobile, depending on whether he turns out to be an actual superhero or just an unusually cool fellow.
John McCain's billfold contents would be fascinating, but who's going to try and take it from him?
Reporter: "Let me see your wallet."
McCain: "I know 22 ways to kill you with a Borders gift card. Back off."
Hillary Clinton isn't expected to carry a wallet, but what about a purse? It would be so cool if she hauled a handbag around, because right before she walked up to the podium to make a speech, she could turn to Bill and say, "Hold my purse." Then he'd have to huddle there like some yutz on the bench outside Shoe Carnival.
Every presidential hopeful should face the wallet challenge, but once word leaks out, candidates will stack their leather decks with aces.
Clinton: "Oh, this is just a picture of me saving orphans from a fire. And here's a letter from the Virgin Mary. She's a huge supporter."
Edwards: "See, it's a picture of the mill where my dad worked. Seriously, OK, he worked in a mill."
Kucinich: "This card means if I buy one more 12-inch sub, the one after that is free."
121 comments
Mike Huckabee is the real deal and your really caught the essence of that. Good job!
Lame. When you guys figure out Huck has an unquenchable appetite for OPM then things change. He may even be very impeachable.
And YOU talk about candidates being devious.
YOUR attempt to smear selected candidates on speculations and superficial musings is truly just more of the same worthless dribble Americans get every day from their media, "free press", and immature pundits. Save your ink.
I was sooooo disappointed when I finally realized my autographed copy of the Bible was probably a forgery.
-ACR
What a well done article! Thanks for sharing.
And how about Ron Paul?
The Republican party is going to be different, round about this time next year.
.
Hey ~ how about. . .that describes MIKE HUCKABEE too!
I am sick of the "regular guy" schtik. I am sick of people portraying gay bashing sickos as your average Joe.
I prefer the guy who has $11 dollars in his pocket, the Constitution on his side
and honor as his standard bearer.
The GOP: a tortured legacy and a bridge to no where.RIP
Dennis Kucinich, a man who reads and leads and who got it right the first time is my choice.
Lane Filler says: One note, any one who has been a governor is going to face accusations of either having freed criminals or having freed criminals who later committed heinous crimes. Every governor has his "Willie Hortons."
"I like Mikey" lapel buttons ?
e.i. "I Like Ike"
Lane Filler responds: Umm...okay.
And even if he were the "impoverished" candidate (ah, to dream of true democracy...) would you want to make fun of his poverty? How pathetic.
Currently, all the candidates have zero committed delegates, so they are all tied for first place (if you are an optomist) and last place (if you are a pessimist).
Lane Filler adds: I agree, the media decides who can win by picking underdogs and favorites, then donors won't give to folks the media say have no chance, then voters say, "I like X but I don't want to waste my vote so I'm going for y." It's silly.
Science has already been stunted under Bush. With Huckabee, the lights will slowly go out in America as we settle for a Xtian Jihadist. We are going backwards. So more for our survival.
Lane Filler adds: This one always interests me. Almost no one understands the biological arguments behind evolution in terms of having actually looked at and evaluated genetic evidence. You know you haven't.
Almost no one really understands anything about God. Come on, you know you don't.
So the evolution battle is really between a tiny handful of peope who actually study biology and a tiny handful of people who actually search for God, and everyone else is just frantically favoring one set of experts over another, with no comprehension of the evidence.
The latter takes the imagination of people who lived many centuries ago as truth. But hey, why split hairs.
Or, maybe God created everything to evolve over billions of years, but 6000 years? Everything that's ever happened was done in 6000 years including all the meteor showers that mark our landscape, massive continental drift, and the long buried dinosaurs who lived among us and yet we survived despite inferior weapons (aka teeth and sheer body mass)? Um, OK. Why does the Bible not mention them? It would seem logical if they occurred at the same time. Seems like it would be a God-given miracle that He wiped out all the giant reptiles to save us
all from certain death that they would have written it down.
Lane Filler Responds: I pretty much belive in evolution, but that's not my point. You say you have evaluated evolution, but unless you have a Ph.D in biology, you haven't. You have evaluated other people's thoughts and opinions on a body of scientific evidence you can't hope to understand in its true complexity.
And the scientists espousing idead in the last 1,000 years that have fallen out of favor were entirely certain of both their methods and their conclusions, but time proved them wrong. In 100 years, we will be perecived as ignornat savages in terms of our understanding of science, that much I believe.
Look at it, Nick. The inside of that T-Rex bone is RED. It is "tissue" "flexible and resilient and when stretched returns to its original shape." It is a "bone showing fibrous character, not normally seen in fossil bone." No kidding. You expect me to believe this is 70 million years old? The evolutionists are not trying to search for the truth by looking at the facts, they are just trying to make the facts to fit their theory, which they would never give up no matter what evidence is presented, I guarantee you. There is way too much money, pride, institutions, reputations, etc., etc. on the line for that to ever happen. Evolution is only superficially connected with science. It is a dogma.
-------------------
Are you serious, bud? This is the fodder you're using to help you disprove evolution? Really?... That's all you got? What about carbon dates gathered from the other MILLIONS of fossils found across the globe? That's all hogwash?
Please do me a favor and read Lane's comment under Mark Ayres' post (above).
LANE: Humurous article. What would Ron Paul be carrying? His official U.S. Congressional "NO" voting card, some gold doubloons and a pocket version of the Constitution? (Don't get up in arms over that, people. It's just a joke. I actually like Ron Paul... won't vote for him, but I like him.)
Bob
Lane Filler responds: Those beliefs are normal in America, for better or worse. have you not noticed that?
This is one example of some of the things that Huckabee says that “sound good” but really have no merit or value to them.
While I'm on the subject, Huckabee may be a social conservative, but when it comes to taxes and immigration he is as liberal as they come.
The way the Romney people bought a victory in the Florida Straw Poll is disgraceful.
Dr. Paul has hip problems because of sitting on his wallet, with the 4000 baby pictures.
It is disappointing to think that there are so many shallow thinkers that think if a candidate is 'nice' or 'normal' he will be a good president. The Republican Party will be in serious trouble if they nominate a candidate like Yuckabee and/or Gullibliani. Serious trouble. Both have a lot of ethical issues in their past and both will get ground up and spit out by the Clinton machine.
Finally look at Yuckabee's resume. Look hard for some substance, for a solid educational background, and for substantial experience and accomplishments. I see few things about his education or experience that impress me. We should hire Presidents who can get things done and not sit around being a nice guy, telling us stories and things we want to hear. Do not waste your vote.
Fair Tax will fire up America`s manufacturing engine once more. We become the investment capitol of capital in the world.
In a million years I will concern myself with the age of the earth.
Let's see, aside from the all the lawyers who turned into career politicians, which were aplenty, there were men who held fairly menial jobs before running for and winning the presidency.
Soldier, tailor, prizefighter, tanner, school teacher, public official, tariff collector, minister (yes, James Garfield was a minister), newspaper publisher/editor, Bank V.P., Engineer, men's clothing retailer, farmer, rancher, professor, University president, ice lifter, actor...
Tell me, which of these ordinary occupations would you say was just too ordinary to mold a man of extraordinary character?
This country is made of of regular people. Kept running by regular people. Cleaned up by regular people. Cared for and fought for by regular people.
The blood of regular people who died fighting for independence is mixed with the soil of this country.
I, for one, am growing a bit tired of men who go into political science and become lawyers because they expect one day to run for the presidency of the United States. I don't trust those men who think they need to make themselves important and be treated as if they are extraordinary first in order to eventually be president. Have we not had enough of extraordinarily rich and well-positioned men in office who so easily compromise away our principles for political favors and fawning admiration?
"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal..."
Yes, we're created equal, but what happens after that is what makes one extraordinary. I've known people who have had every advantage handed to them who were FAR from extraordinary. I've known people who I really never thought would amount to much really turn around and make a difference in a lot of peoples lives...
It's the regular guys who can stay humble and STILL strive to make a difference in the world and make their time here really count - those are the extraordinary ones. The ones who find their purpose and go out and DO their purpose.
Sometimes at just takes one extraordinary regular guy (who doesn't mind paying his own way) to look at the mess the country is in and have the audacity to think he can do something to make it better. Even better if I know he's spent countless hours on his knees in prayer over the nation. Don't ever underestimate how much a regular guy can change the world.
RWL in SW IL
2. divorce lawyer's card
Does a guy named "Lane Filler" drive a Hummer?
Just curious...
Curious
Lane Filler responds: 1996 Nissan Sentra, say it with me now, "Smokin'"
Huckabee ONLY did what he was asked (showing his wallet) and BECAUSE he did NOT have anything to hide - and did so, you're upset????? You're the true boob.
If you have HIV positive, are you going to support and vote for Huckabee??
If you are a working person and need every cent of your hard earned money, are you going to vote for Huckabee who has a history of raising taxes that takes money from your wallet and family??
Definitely, criminals will vote for Huckabee and they will surely receive a "get out of jail" card free. Still as a good citizen, Huckabee will release or pardon sex offenders and schools and shoping centers will not be safe.
If you are a women will you be safe if sex offenders are wondering the streets day and night?? Are you going to vote for Huckabee? Think about it seriously before throwing your support behind Huckabee.....
in ANYbody's wallet.
Gimme a break.
Lane Filler responds: His choice to show me. It was fun going through the stuff.
Go Mike!
Lane Filler responds: There were witnesses. Huckabee would remember it. I don't lie. My detailed analysis of what was in his wallet was demonstrably accurate. As to who would care what I think, all I can say is, I make a living sharing it.
Even if Ron Paul is religious, he understands the value of science in our culture, something Huckabee severely lacks.
In addition, Paul is much more pleasant. I would not vote for an insensitive man such as Huckabee, who once advocated the removal of HIV+ people from our communities and compared fat camp to the Holocaust.
I desperately hope to see Ron Paul get the Republican nomination, and then go on to win the presidency.
Jim
http://sacdcweb08.salon.com/opinion/feature/2007/11/13/huckabee/index_np.html
The Arkansas Ethics Commission held proceedings 20 times on the former governor. During his tenure, Huckabee accepted 314 gifts valued overall at more than $150,000, according to documents filed with the Arkansas secretary of state's office. (He accepted 187 gifts in his first three years as governor but was not required to report their value.)
Two months after taking office, Huckabee stunned the state by saying he questioned rapist Wayne DuMond's guilt and that it was his intention to free the rapist, DuMond murdered a women in Illinois after Huckabee set him free
Huckabee battled conservatives within his own party who were pushing for stricter state-level immigration measures, such as:.
- proof of legal status when applying for state services that aren’t federally mandated
- proof of citizenship when registering to vote
- Huckabee failed in his effort to make children of illegal immigrants eligible for state-funded scholarships and in-state tuition to Arkansas colleges.
In a1992 :U.S. Senate race, Huck advocated quarantining AIDS patients, and cutting AIDS research.
Does Huckabee subscribe to his spiritual advisor Timothy LaHay’s views of the Rapture, United Nations, and a Palestinian state?” Huck’s use of the “Christian Leader” title and his attempt to denigrate Mitt Romney’s religion is a thinly-veiled attempt to impose a religious test in violation of Article Six of the Constitution.
Mike fails on so many levels as a true conservative.
The Huckster was the keynote speaker at an anti-Mormon conference in Salt Lake City. And he knows nothing about Mormons? And the "Christian Leader" doesn't want to release his sermons?
The moniker "Huckster" is well-earned.
This is similar to his attempt to dodge responsibility for paroling the rapist murderer that went on to kill again.
He is also dodging his son's involvement in abusing a poor old mangy dog.
The skeletons in Huckabee's closet are beginning to make a loud rattling noise.
Keep looking under the living room rug investigative reporters.
Huckabee? Fun watching otherwise normal people (arguable) such as these Repug prez candidates fight for the right to lose by the largest amount in history! They've all got more energy than brains (except for Thompson who has neither) if they don't realize they are wasting their time. And to top it off (and add to their coming electoral disaster) they're trying to be more Bush than Bush! There is no 'religious wave' riding across America. There is simply a five percent minority of Christian Reconstructionists who have wrestled control of government and media to suit their ends. Huckabee is starting to scare REGULAR Christians (the ones who actually follow the teachings of Jesus). This overtly religious election track (with special emphasis on Fundamentalism) has been field tested as a proven loser. See Pat Robertson.
Enjoy.
Your column says more about you than the candidates.
You are:
1. Jealous of people with money.
2. Jealous of people who are self-made.
3. Not able to see women as equals.
4. Sees all veterans as killers.
5. People with more than one marriage as morally deficient (does that apply to Ronald Reagan as well?)
6. I don't know what to do with the comment about Kucinich. Someone with a good progressive record so he has to be poor? Are you afraid of short men? One suspects that, with his beautiful wife, you are more interested in something in his pants besides his wallet.
7. Obama and "cool jazz"? Racist. What do you expect from a columnist from South Carolina.
What about Huckabee? No picture of the wife and kids? Grandkids? Odd, don't you think?
So pandering to the NRA is more important than family?
And who carries cash in his wallet anymore? A normal guy, who can't afford to keep all of his eggs in one basket, keeps the credit cards one place, cash another.
Did you check the dates on the bills in his wallet? Are you sure they are recent and not just in there because they say "In God We Trust"?
Who hired this guy? Why was he hired? Is this the best the Washington Post can do? And his name, Filler, how appropriate.
Fred, really, get serious, will you? You used to have talented writers...
M.P. - You sound like a socialist with those comments. Are you former Spetsnaz? Regular, working-class individuals running government is socialism, my friend.
Keith - Are you really a Conservative Conspiracy Theorists?!? Wow! I honestly have never seen one before. Can I have your autograph?
M.J. Salter- You're a Bush supporter, eh? You are a rare breed, my friend.
Lane: As I said before; very humorous article. I like the fact that you asked the question, then turned it into a farcical ed piece. The fact that you continually place a link on CBS's Horse Race is kind of annoying, though.
thansk
Fred
I could see Huck as VP, but not as President, at least not for eight more years.
Also, is it me or are Huck supporters starting to sound annoyingly like Ron Paul's crowd? I do not disrespect either, but really, save fanaticism for sports! We should vote with our heads, supported by the dictates of our conscience, and I get the feeling some people are losing theirs.
Huckabee is a well qualified Christian, but not much else. Give him eight years under Romney and he may figure out how to balance a budget, arrange health care or work with a split Congress to create real change. Can you see Mike running the Armed Forces?
He is charismatic and knows how to tell a story, but so is Robin Williams, aka Man of the Year. Is that really America's fairy tale?
Thanks for your comment! I love the wallet technique. Very clever! Please stop by anytime for my own funny-but-true posts on the candidates’ attention (or lack thereof) to education.
Are you really that easy???
Wouldn't it make more sense to look at what this person HAS DONE IN HIS/HER PAST to determine what you can expect from them in the future???
Wake up America....you are acting stupid.
JLof@aol.com
It's the only thing McCain has ever gotten right in his life.
I wish he were because he would be sent back to Arkansas with his tail between his legs for the "thumpin" he would receive.
I thought Ron Paul was out there when I first heard about him. Why would anyone want to abolish the Federal Reserve? Do some research and Ron Paul makes a lot of sense. Also, with 70% of americans against the Iraq war a pro-war republican will lose in the general election.
Anyone that believes the Constitution can be amended to stop abortion is living a fool's dream and when Huckabee claims that a Constitutional amendment is the way to end abortion, he is playing us like fools. It can't be done.Why do you think no one has ever tried?
Only Thompson has a practical plan to achieve our goal. The solution is to appoint one more strict constructionist to the Supreme Court. But the pro-abortionist know this, too. Winning confirmation for the right candidate will be the fight of the century. It will take every ounce of a President's political capital to win the fight. Any compromise in selecting the nominee will allow abortion to continue unchecked for another generation.
Huckabee & Romney have both demonstrated their willingness to compromise whenever politically advantageous. The only candidate we have that can be trusted NOT to compromise his principles – or our faith in him - is Fred Thompson. It doesn't matter how hard or long the battle. Fred knows what really matters. If you really want the ongoing massacre of the unborn to stop - you need to get very serious about this election. Look at the facts. Look at the history of each candidate's actions. Fred Thompson is our ONLY prayer.
Why not OBAMA?
Because obama is a puppet trying to represent the face of all people. He has no moral backbone sorry liberals. votes will be from people who are young and did drugs like him. president should have strong moral compass and not belong to some weird black only cult church.
plus his ideas of real "change" are more like take away americas soverignty.
usa answers to no internaitonal authority!!! bush was right about kyoto
also he thinks its ok for a 13 year old girl to not have to tell her parents shes getting an abortion.
ok now that thats out of the way i went into the future and grabbed a copy of the new constitution here you go.
Environment
Curb radical environmentalism, you guys should know this is just hippy movement revived from 1960's. global warming evidence demands international review. not international hysteria. you know what the day after tomorrow is.... Thursday thats it, not the end of the world.lets stop pandering to gore and bandwagon scientists that want grants. They lied about the missing link what else will they lie about. stop using science politically all together while your at it. since when did scientists think they had the right to talk about things outside of their scope. ie. origin of universe, oh thats right it was when they all decided to not believe in god in order for them to not have to deal with their consciences. The Truth hurts just as there are courts for messing up in this life there will be courts in the next
n healthcare
free Healthcare would be great but realistically (with our budget issues)the short term solution is it would be better if it was optional and cheap (gradually phase it out into a universal health care system based on on of them fancy european nations.)
beat down drug companies and cut links between interest groups such as media that disproportionate represent use of adult stem cells compared to embryonic (unecessary)
Economy
we need to compete with the likes of india and china this is really scary because they are waiting for us to screw up. Bush sucked at foreign policy ok, we need competent diplomats who are also economists/businessmen to take advantage of our strengths.
solution for social security (
why isnt any body talking about $%^&*!@* social security thats a big @S$$ chunk out of my paycheck every month take some of that money an put into mandatory savings plan like singapore has. tax free and let me access it when i turn uhm like 40
better yet have them provide a home for me at low cost that will end all the mortgage crap USA has the land to afford nice homes without sticking people in crappy government subsidized towers.
On Intelligence
no i dont want to know what the cia is doing yes publically discourage waterboarding but dont stop doing it if it gets that job done. Information is power. I hate terrorists they dont deserve trials
Lastly we need to take the focus off the fact that the environment is the most important thing out there. its able to take our crap and it has for thousands of years. tens of thousands if you believe the science BS. You think this is the worst society on earth pshh try british empire during industrial revolution sorry they were worse and the end didnt come. And if it does it wont be by anything we do. i'll be damned if i have to give up my SUV you come pry it from my cold dead fingers.
Huckabee might not win but he should his values are right on. I dont wanna live in the america that Obama or Hillary creates if i wanted to live in fear and have terrorists bombing my public transportation every weekend because we let them in I'd just move to Europe.
looks very interesting!
bookmarked your blog.
john brightman