Telly Vision

Link: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/

 

Tina Fey returned to Saturday Night Live Saturday night and once again put her hair up and donned glasses to play Gov. Sarah Palin. The sketch poked fun of the Republican vice presidential candidate's recent interview with CBS anchor Katie Couric.

Click on the link above to watch.

 

CNN anchor Campbell Brown has had enough of the sexist treatment of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. Her words not mine. 

 

Wanda Sykes was on Jay Leno this week and had a lot of opinions on the government bailout. "It's broke people bailing out rich people. ... No oversight? I want receipts. ... It's welfare for the rich. I want them to be treated like they live in the projects....

She also had opinions on Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

If you were watching Wednesday night's edition of The Late Show with David Letterman, you would have seen a visibly upset host. Letterman didn't seem to like the idea that Sen. John McCain canceled his appearance on Letterman's show but could then be seen getting his face powdered so he could be interviewed by anchor Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News. He also slammed Mccain for suspending his campaign.  

Chris Rock made a hilarious appearance on "The Late Show with David Letterman" Monday night. He came on right after President Clinton so he couldn't help but poke fun at Clinton unable to say Sen. Barack Obama's name and how he kept talking about his wife's plan for the economy.

Rock also joked about how Gov. Sarah Palin can kill a moose but Michael Vick, a black man, can't kill a dog.

Rock was on the show to promote his HBO special Saturday night. 

 

 

 

"Dancing With The Stars" kicked off Monday and 82-year-old Cloris Leachman is stealing the show.

She flirted, showed her cleavage and put her leg on the judges' tables. She sat on Carrie Anne's lap and got Len to call himself a "toy boy." And when she got her low scores, she cursed out the judges and said they were stupid when they had a cue card that added up her score. It was bleeped but I know what she said.... She needs to stay on every night.

The ratings soared. 21 million people watched beating out the season premiere of "Heroes."

 

 

Here is my list of awards that should have been handed out at Sunday night's 60th Annual Emmy Awards show:

The "OMG It's Oprah" Emmy award goes to all of the audience members who could hardly contain themselves when Oprah walked across the stage. I kept thinking "Isn't she Daytime Emmys?" She should have at least handed out some cars to the Emmy losers. No, she told us how powerful television is. It can sell books.  

The Lamest Hosts of a Television Special is a tie. That's right. I'm talking about you Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron, Howie Mandel, Heidi Klum and Jeff Probst. At least Howie tried to be funny. They should have been voted off, had their torches extinguished and left the runway. They were that bad.

The Cringe Worthy Performance by a Member of the Recording Industry Award goes to Josh Groban who had to sing about 30 TV theme songs in about five minutes. Who knew M*A*S*H had lyrics? Most of it was downright corny and pure Velveeta but I have to give Groban props for trying his hand at "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," and "South Park." There was even dancing girls. What is this the Tony Awards? A Las Vegas revue?

The Let's Bash the President and Sen. McCain and Praise Community Organizers and Sen. Barack Obama But We'll Speak in Code Award goes to the entire cast of "John Adams," and almost everyone else who went home with a trophy. Here's an example of one acceptance speech/vote for Obama moment: Thanks "for giving me the opportunity to talk about a period in our history when articulate men articulated complex thoughts in complete sentences."

Let Don Rickles host next year. He was the best part of the entire show.  

 

Link: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips

 

Tina Fey didn't make another appearance on SNL this weekend as Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin but the show still had a few bright spots.

Actor James Franco, who starred in "Pineapple Express," and is starring in the upcoming "Nights in Rodanthe," and "Milk" did a pretty good job as host.

The funniest sketches included "The Looker" starring Penny Marshall (Fred Armisen) and the digital short on Yankee Stadium with Amy Poehler as Rosie Perez and Armisen as Martin Scorsese.

Another funny sketch was the lawyers trying to find potential jurors for the new O.J. trial.

You can catch a few of the sketches if you are click on the link above.

 

This week, Jon Stewart with The Daily Show compared Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's interview with Sean Hannity to an informercial. I couldn't agree more.

The first female vice presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro, speaking on Hannity & Colmes Friday, also thought the interview was a little schmoozy but also thought some questions were sexist.   

 

I got a call this morning from Jaime Dugan, the Spartanburg native featured on "Survivor: China." If you may remember, she and her castmate Erik Huffman fell in love on the show, got voted off the show, and continued dating after the show ended. Today, she and her mom called to say the couple is engaged.

Erik surprised Jaime by popping the question on a visit to Charleston. The couple plan to wed sometime next spring.

Dugan, who graduated from the University of South Carolina in May, is working in Nashville for a non-profit and Huffman is currently touring college campuses with his rock band, Florez. He has an upcoming gig at USC in Columbia. Go to www.florezmusic.com for more information on the tour.

Dugan is a graduate of Spartanburg High School. She and Huffman currently live in Nashville, Tenn.

Jaime and Erik are also finalists for a fabulous wedding package in Charleston. They are one of four finalists vying for the top prize. Go to www.Charlestonweddinggiveaway.com to see their video and vote for them to win.

Jaime has promised to send me some photos of the engagement and we plan to do a story in the Herald-Journal's Life section in the near future.

 

Opening remarks from the "Late Show with David Letterman" from Sept. 8-12

"John McCain is old. And I had some friends of mine call me to tell me this: you don't have any idea how old he is. Listen to this: he's so old that his blood type has been discontinued."

"I do, I kind of like that Sarah Palin. You know, she reminds me - she looks like the flight attendant who won't give you a second can of Pepsi...Looks like the waitress at the coffee shop who draws a little smiley face on your check."

"I don't know what it's doing around the country, but here in New York City, we had a wet, rainy day right here in New York City, wet, rainy day, and today, John McCain admitted he doesn't know how many umbrellas he owns."

"I like John McCain. I like that guy. He looks like a guy whose cell phone has a big band ringtone."

"And how about that Barack Obama? You know what they're saying - for the first time, he's starting to slip in the polls. Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. No, no, no, no, don't worry, he's got a plan. He's going to go back to campaigning in Europe."

"I'm feeling a little sheepish, ladies and gentlemen. I have a confession to make. Last night, I had my first naughty dream about a vice presidential candidate - and it wasn't Joe Biden."

"But, you know, when Sarah Palin and John McCain make an appearance together, there's always a brief hug, always a brief hug, just kind of a brief hug - no kissing. So, whenever you see them, like on stage someplace or getting on or off a plane or whatever on TV, a brief hug, no kissing. A brief hug, no kissing - it's just like Bill and Hillary."

"Touch of autumn in the air, and the leaves are falling. As a matter of fact, John McCain admitted that he doesn't know how many rakes he owns."

"Here's sad news, ladies and gentlemen, from the world of Hollywood: Hugh Hefner, 82-year-old Hugh Hefner is breaking up with his 28-year-old girlfriend...But they were a strange couple. I mean, you've got to admit it, strange couple - elderly man in his robe and pajamas and a hot, young babe, and - oh, no, wait a minute, that's the Republican ticket."

"But on the program tonight, Sen. Barack Obama is here...And as a matter of fact, I don't know if you're aware of this, all of New Yorkers have Obama fever. Obama fever - everybody's excited about him being in New York City. New York City cab drivers, by the way, are offering their Barack Obama special - they'll gladly accept change."

"Meanwhile, in Virginia today, it was Senator McCain and Sarah Palin, were campaigning in Virginia. Do you like Sarah Palin? Do you kind of like her? Yeah, I like her because she looks like the lady at the baker who yells out, '44!' She looks like a real estate agent whose picture you see on the bus stop bench...She looks like the lady who has a chain of cupcake stores...She looks like the mayor of a small town that's banned dancing."

"But now, because of Sarah Palin, people are now asking the question, 'Is she ready to be President? Is Sarah Palin ready to be President?' If, God forbid, something happens to John McCain, is Sarah Palin ready to be President? And I don't think we need to wory about that because Bush has lowered the bar so tremendously, I mean...I'm ready to be President."

"Now, here's something exciting - this is hot insider political gossip. Tomorrow, as a matter of fact, former President Bill Clinton - you remember Bubba? He's going to be having lunch right here in New York City with Barack Obama. That's tomorrow. That's tomorrow - at least, that is what Bill is telling Hillary."

"What a show we have for you tonight - Jack Hanna is on the program this evening, ladies and gentlemen - Jack, "Jungle Jack." I'm very excited - Jack is going to put lipstick on a pig."

"By the way, last night on this program, Senator Barack Obama was on the show last night. And today, John McCain was asking his staff, 'Uh, uh, can you, uh, can you get me on, uh, can you get me on 'The Merv Griffin Show'?"

"Here's big news: tonight and tomorrow night, Charles Gibson over there at ABC is going to interview Sarah Palin, and I believe it will be her first big-time interview. And Charles Gibson, the first question he asked her, he says, 'Are you ready to be president?' And Sarah Palin said, 'Oh, fer sure.'"

"But, no, seriously, the interview went very well, and during the interview, Sarah Plain actually gave birth to her sixth child. So it was - she can do it all."


"Matt Damon - how about Matt Damon? He now - well, he's not here. Yeah, Matt Damon says he believes that Sarah Palin would be a disaster in the White House. That's what Matt Damon says. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute - I think I'll wait to hear what Ben Affleck has to say."

"Oh, and tomorrow, talk about tremendous viewing, tomorrow on 'The View,' John McCain, Senator John McCain will be a guest on 'The View.' Careful, John, because that place is like a North Vietnamese prison with Botox."

"That John McCain, by gosh, did you know this? He was on 'The View' earlier today. Yep, and I thought to myself, 'Well, good lord, hasn't this man endured enough torture?'"

"But that John McCain is a great guy, and when he was finished at 'The View,' as a thank you gift, he bought everybody on the show a house."

"But how about that ticket - it's John McCain and Sarah Palin. What do you think of that ticket? Political insiders told me that Sarah Palin's main job, her main job on the ticket now is to tell John McCain when he's got something on his chin."

"But we're learning more and more about Sarah Palin. Were you aware of this, that at one point, she was mayor of a town called Wasilla, Alaska. Wasilla, Alaska - I went to looking at it, there is only one store in Wasilla, Alaska, honest to God - Bed, Bath and Way Beyond."

"Wasilla, Alaska is so small, if you pick up the guide book, it's called Things to Do in Wasilla, if you pick up a copy of that guide book and you open it up, Things to Do in Wasilla, it reads, 'You're doing it.'"

"But now, because they're a little worried that Sarah Plain may be a political newcomer and has not spent any time in the national spotlight, so she's being coached by Joe Lieberman. Yeah, I hope Joe Lieberman can pass along some of that excitement that he brought to the Gore/Lieberman ticket."

"How about this - talk about historic gatherings - I guess it was in New York sometime this week, Bill Clinton, yesterday, as a matter of fact, and Barack Obama sat down and had lunch in New York City, and it went very well. Everything was fine. As a matter of fact, we know that Bill Clinton picked up the check - and the waitress."

"Big scandal in Washington, D.C. - did you hear about this? It turns out now members of the Department of the Interior were having sex with oil company employees...But how about that Department of the Interior and a sex scandal? Well, you know, the Republicans were calling for more drilling."

"Hey, this is like old times: you know what's happening today? It's the first day of the O.J. Simpson trial. Yeah, he's in Las Vegas and he's on trial for armed robbery this time. And O.J.'s defense is he was only trying to get his stuff back. He just - 'I want to get my stuff back.' He's talking about his autographed jersey, he wanted to get that back; autographed football - wanted to get that back; his autographed knife, wanted to get that back."

"You folks watch any football over the weekend? Did you see that Tom Brady is out for the year? Patriots quarterback Tom Brady out with a knee injury, ladies and gentlemen. And today, coach Bill Belichick already started secretly videotaping knee surgeons."

"Listen to this, ladies and gentlemen: here's some sad news from the world of gorillas. From the world of gorillas, the oldest gorilla, the oldest living gorilla in captivity passed away - what do you think - age 55. Age 55 - now, that's the oldest gorilla in captivity. Now, the oldest gorilla not in captivity is 61, and is governor of California."

"I got some great news, listen to this: if the show tonight doesn't go well, guess what? If the show doesn't go well tonight, the federal government is bailing me out."

"Are you folks following this Freddie Mac/Fannie Mae fiasco? Do you know anything about it? It's horrible, isn't it? I mean, it's horrible and scary. Thank God it's over - earlier today, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae were both adopted by Angelina Jolie."

"Do you feel the little nip in the air? Do you know that it's fall? You can tell fall is just around the corner. Here now, I saw a sure sign of fall in New York City: earlier today, I saw Regis outside raking his money."

Source: The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

 

Last weekend I was glued to the television wanting to know every detail about Hurricane Ike. I grew up near Corpus Christi and have been through many hurricanes as a child so I know how devastating they can be.

My family still lives near Corpus Christi so my sister and I urged my mom, brother, sister and nephews to evacuate and they did. But Ike had other ideas and headed to Houston and Galveston where I have an uncle and cousin.

So where did I turn to get the most up-to-date information on Ike and the devastating path the storm made across Texas?

Not CNN. Not Fox News. Not the Weather Channel. I watched the best coverage, at least in my area and in my opinion, on DirecTV. On Channel 361 they broadcast a Houston TV station's around the clock coverage of the storm. Who better to give me and others in my situation the most reliable coverage of a hurricane happening in their own back yard than a local TV station. I also kept going to the Houston Chronicle's website, www.chron.com to get in-depth details.

I got turned off seeing Anderson Cooper in his wading boots walking through flood waters or these national reporters sweeping into town to try to make this local story their story. They had to get that shot of themselves standing in the rain, with the pounding wind and almost missing getting hit by a wave or a flying object. It just turned me off and turned me on to Houston TV station KHOU.

Thanks to them and to DirecTV for airing this great coverage over the weekend. Great job!

If you'd like to help the people hurt by Hurricane Ike, contact your local chapter of the American Red Cross to see how you can help these people who have lost their homes, personal belongings or who are sitting without power, food and clothing.

Here are some videos I found on YouTube that captures some of the most unusual aspects of the coverage of Hurricane Ike.

 

 

QUOTABLES FROM NBC'S 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' SEPTEMBER 8 – SEPTEMBER 12


"MTV caused a huge controversy last night because comedian Russell Brand hosted their Video Music Awards and he referred to President Bush as a 'retarded cowboy.' Of course, everyone knows the correct term is 'special needs cowboy. '"

"Today Barack Obama took his daughters to their first day of school. In a related story, John McCain took his daughters to pick up their social security checks."

"Experts say that since Sarah Palin became the Vice Presidential nominee, there has been a spike in the sale of her style of glasses. With Palin's glasses you'll be able to see everything except what the hell your teenage daughter is up to. "

"According to the latest polls, John McCain has started to open up a lead over Barack Obama. The USA Today poll has McCain ahead by 10 points, the CBS News poll has the two tied, and the MSNBC poll says that Obama won the election last week."

"David Duchovny checked himself into a rehab program for sex addicts. So if you're looking for him, he'll be at the Charlie Sheen Institute."

"19-year-old Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe says he lost his virginity when he was 16 to an older woman. You can read all about it in 'Harry Potter and the Contract Negotiation with J.K. Rowling.'"

"The computer programmers behind the successful game SimCity have designed a new game that allows people to run the universe as if they're God. The new game is called 'Oprah.'"

"People all over the world are following our election - According to a new international poll, people in Canada want Barack Obama to be the next U.S. President. Which makes sense because Obama has the support of Canada's anti-war voters as well as Canada's black guy."

"Everyone's digging into Sarah Palin's past - There's an old picture of Sarah Palin circulating on the Internet – and she's wearing a T-shirt that says: 'I may be broke – but I'm not flat busted.' John McCain was upset when he heard this and asked, 'What's the Internet?'"

"Political observers are pointing out that at campaign rallies, John McCain likes to give Sarah Palin a hug and then give his wife a kiss on the cheek. When asked about it, McCain said, 'Believe me, that's about as much sex as I can handle.'"

"Earlier this week, Madonna created a controversy during a concert because she dedicated the song 'Like a Virgin' to the Pope. The Pope was furious and said: 'I specifically requested "Material Girl!"'"

"There are reports that Jamie Lynn Spears and the father of her baby might break up because he cheated on her with a 28 year-old woman. When she found out, Jamie Lynn was furious and said, '28? That's my grandmother's age.'"

"This week on his show, Jerry Springer adopted a pig that was scheduled to be sent to the butcher. As a result, the pig wasn't slaughtered but it was hit over the head with a chair."

"The other night in Canada, a man rushed on stage during an Oasis concert and he knocked the guitarist to the ground. The man was arrested by police but released after promising to attend next week's Celine Dion concert."

"American Airlines is being sued because they were asked to transport a dead body to a funeral and they lost the body. Afterward American tried to make it up by offering a free round-trip ticket to anywhere the dead body wants to fly."

"Earlier today, Kentucky Fried Chicken used an armored car and several armed guards to move the hand-written copy of Colonel Sanders original recipe. Sadly, they were no match for Kirstie Alley's bazooka."

"Big international news - Sources in North Korea say that dictator Kim Jong Il is very sick and that he may have to shift power to his son Kim Jong Nam, Kim Jong Chul, or Kim Jong Woon. Of course, there's still an out-of-the box chance he'll pick Sarah Palin."

"You probably all heard that Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, "You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig." Political experts say that if Obama keeps insulting Palin, he could lose the election and win a job at MSNBC."

"Politicians are all lining up to attack Obama's comments about putting lipstick on a pig. President Bush said the pig remarks were offensive, Dick Cheney said they were inappropriate, and Joe Lieberman said they weren't kosher."

"Boy George says he has written a song supporting Barack Obama. This will help Barack lock up the critical 1980s Gay British Pop star vote."

"It was in the news today that when John McCain's wife Cindy was born he was a senior in high school. McCain says it was love at first site but an extremely awkward senior prom."

"Today in Washington D.C., Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader met with Libertarian presidential candidate Ron Paul. They didn't plan the meeting, they just bumped into each other on the soup line."

"A new study has found that even though they eat lots of high-calorie foods, Amish people don't get obese. Apparently, butter isn't fattening if you churn it for 2 hours first."

"Big sports news - cyclist Lance Armstrong may come out of retirement to compete in the 2009 Tour de France. Armstrong says riding a bike should come back to him easily – cause it's just like riding a bike."

"This week, San Antonio became the first US city to harvest methane gas from human waste and turn it into a clean-burning fuel. You know what, maybe being dependant on foreign oil isn't so bad after all."

"One year after NBC yanked its shows off iTunes in a pricing dispute, the shows are back and can be downloaded for $1.99. That's right, if you download one of their shows, NBC will pay you $1.99."

"Sarah Palin has been spending the last couple of days being briefed by advisors on what she needs to know to be John McCain's vice president. Probably the first thing they taught her was CPR."

"In Alaska, a political activist is trying to get Sarah Palin to release over a 1,000 e-mails that she is withholding from public records. Apparently several of the emails went unanswered and have the subject line 'Mom, I need to talk to you about birth control.'"

"Sarah Palin's husband Todd has been given the secret service name 'driller'. When he heard about it, Bill Clinton said: 'Wait – they told me my code name was retired.'"

"In Las Vegas they're having trouble picking jurors in O.J. Simpson's armed robbery trial. The judge said, 'We want a jury of O.J.'s peers but it's hard to find anyone else who got away with a double murder.'"

"In Massachusetts, a firefighter saved a cat's life by giving it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. The cat is now doing fine but the firefighter is now coughing up fur balls."

"In a new interview Lindsay Lohan says she wants to marry her lesbian girlfriend by the end of the year. Then Lohan said: 'Or I might just get drunk and pass out.'"

"The executive producer of the Jerry Springer Show was reportedly fired after he got into a fight with someone and put him in a chokehold. Jerry Springer fired the man as executive producer and immediately booked him as a guest."

"Paris Hilton's boyfriend, Benji Madden, recently stole Paris's Blackberry and deleted the phone numbers of all her ex-boyfriends. Which explains why he's been treated for carpal tunnel syndrome."

"Last night, ABC News aired the first televised interview with Sarah Palin and Palin stumbled a bit because she had never heard of the 'Bush Doctrine.' When he heard this, President Bush said, 'That's okay, neither have I.'"

"Political experts say that during the interview Palin did a pretty good job convincing voters that she's qualified. Palin said that she has plenty of experience and her daughter has a little too much experience."

"Everyone has Palinmania - This week Fox News scored one of their highest ratings ever when they aired the special, 'Governor Palin: An American Woman.' MSNBC also scored huge ratings for their special: 'Governor Palin: American Woman… or MAN?'"

"All the candidates are preparing for the debates - Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm has agreed to help Joe Biden prepare for the debate by standing in and playing the role of Sarah Palin. Up until now, the only Sarah Palin role-playing has come at the request of Bill Clinton."

"The latest political commercial by Barack Obama attempts to portray John McCain as being unfamiliar with technology. McCain was outraged and responded with an e-mail – or as McCain calls it 'a computer letter from the future.'"

"Barack Obama is so popular in the African town where his father was born that they've named a beer after him. The Obama beer is called 'Black & Tan & Asian & Hawaiian'".

"This morning, John McCain appeared as a guest on 'The View.' There was an awkward moment when he looked Barbara Walters up and down and said 'Man, if I was 20 years younger…'"

Source: NBC Entertainment 

 

I was at home on Friday and "The View" came on and I hear that Sen. John McCain is going to be on so I stop what I'm doing and I watch. I know this is going to be a train wreck.

Whoopi is in her corner and Barbara Walters is sitting next to her most likely to keep her away from McCain. But Joy is sitting right next to McCain. Joy had been on Larry King earlier in the week saying how she was voting for Barack Obama. Oh, I knew this was going to be good.

Somebody must have sedated Elizabeth because she barely said a word except of course to tell everyone she was voting for McCain.

McCain starts discussing how he would interpret Roe V. Wade and then Whoopi asks McCain: Should I worry about going back to slavery?

Oh, I can't write anymore. I was gasping in disbelief. And then what Barbara says ...

Watch the video below and talk amongst yourself:

 

 

Link: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/michael-phelps-diet/656342/

Did Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps sink or swim on SNL Saturday night?

I think he did much better than expected. He's not an actor. He's an athlete. And it also helped that  he was usually paired with a funny partner during his sketches.

According to the Associated Press, this episode was the highest rated since 2001. I think Tina Fey's impersonation of Gov. Sarah Palin helped out a lot. She might need to fit in SNL into her schedule for the next four to eight years depending on who wins the election.

An article in Broadcasting & Cable said a few sketches for Phelps didn't make it to the show. The sketch rejects included:

--A urine based cure for athlete's foot endorsed by Phelps.

--A talk show by Mark Spitz with music by Elliot Spitzer.

--The Justice League of America lays off Aquaman played by Phelps.

I think the Aquaman sketch would have been great.

I think the funniest Phelps sketch had to do with his 12,000 calories a day diet. Click on the link above to check it out.

Link: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/

 

Tina Fey's impersonation of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on  "Saturday Night Live" was funny.

Conan O'Brien's recent jokes about Palin being in favor of "shotgun weddings" and "marriage for undercover teens" was also funny.

As a pop culture and entertainment enthusiast, I like my pop culture figures (Sarah Palin) to be entertaining.

It also doesn't hurt if they sound like Police Chief Marge Gunderson from "Fargo"; resemble Peggy Hill from "King of the Hill"; and have children's names (Track, Trig) that sound like my high school class schedule.

Palin has been on the cover of every tabloid and featured in every gossip website. 

She and Sen. John McCain have been spoofed on YouTube in a video called "I Picked A Girl" which is set to the tune of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl."

Sarah Palin is a pop culture phenomenon. 

You know you’re getting old when the classic artists at Sunday night’s MTV Video Music Awards were Kid Rock, Christina Aguilera, Kanye West and Pink.

Twentysomething Aguilera has a Greatest Hits album coming out soon. ????? Another helping of “Genie in a Bottle,” anyone?

The VMAs are also known for their OMG moments.

Last year during Britney’s musical performance she was bloated in a skimpy costume, and stumbling over her lyrics and choreography.

The TV audience lives for those moments. There was nothing spectacular or shocking at this year's ceremony to talk about Monday morning around the water cooler.

No wardrobe malfunctions and “I Kissed A Girl” singer Katy Perry, who was trying to channel Madonna during one performance, didn’t even kiss a girl. And Britney was dressed modestly, looked healthy and sounded lucid.

Now who wants to see that?

For a moment, I thought I must be watching the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon with all the performances or sightings of the Jonas Brothers, and Miley Cyrus.

Sunday night’s show was the 25th anniversary of the VMAs. Who knew being 25 could be so old and outdated? While many of the night’s acts were more suitable for a mature audience, most of the live audience was made up of kids not even old enough to drink legally or serve their country.

Britney actually won three awards including Female Video, Pop Video and Video of the Year for “Piece of Me.” Not exactly, the best video of the year in my opinion. But what do I know? I never even heard of Tokio Hotel, the group which won Best New Artist.

Host Russell Brand was also not very funny. Maybe, he’s funnier in Britain. He poked fun of the Jonas Brothers for wearing purity rings promising to save their virginity until marriage. They're just kids and in my opinion don't need to be the butt of the juvenile, crude humor of MTV.

MTV, you gave up on music videos a long time ago. Now, it's time you lose the VMAs.

Here are QUOTABLES FROM NBC'S 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' Aug. 25 – Aug. 29 courtesy of NBC Entertainment.

"It's good to be back – we've been off the air for the Olympics. The Beijing Olympics officially ended yesterday with the closing ceremonies. Afterward, all of the tourists went home to their countries and all of the Chinese women gymnasts went back to kindergarten."

"According to the International Olympic Committee, the Summer Olympics in London are now only 1,432 days away. Which means it's only 1,432 days until someone watches NBC again."

"The Democratic convention began tonight. At the convention over 160 miles of copper and coaxial cable has been installed to accommodate all the cameras and microphones. Experts say there hasn't been this much cable laid at a convention since Bill Clinton was president."

"This Thursday, Barack Obama is going to give his acceptance speech – and reportedly it will include performances by Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen. And they say Obama's not black enough!"

"Tomorrow night at the Democratic Convention, to show her support for Barack Obama Hillary Clinton is going to give a speech. Hillary's speech is entitled, 'Forget All Those Things I Said During the Primaries.'"

"The current issue of Newsweek magazine has a picture of President Bush on the cover with the headline 'What Bush Got Right.' Newsweek says that "What Bush Got Right" is their shortest cover story since January's issue on, 'Famous Korean Rabbis.'"

"'American Idol'" announced that this season they are adding a 4th judge to the program. Actually, it's not a judge, it's just Paula Abdul's designated driver."

"This weekend in North Carolina, a man caught a 21-pound catfish using his daughter's pink Barbie fishing pole. Experts are describing it as 'extremely embarrassing for both catfish and man.'"

"Yesterday, police in Miami found a marijuana lab with 200 pot plants growing inside the city's biggest shopping mall. Police became suspicious when they noticed that 700 people were in line at Cinnabon."

"In a recent interview, Michael Jackson says that he doesn't have a computer in his house - because too much media is bad for kids. Which means that if your kid goes to Michael Jackson's house - media is the one thing they won't be exposed to."

"Earlier tonight, Hillary Clinton gave a speech at the Democratic Convention in support of Barack Obama. Experts say it was the longest speech ever delivered entirely through clenched teeth."

"Michele Obama said that she's been in love with Barack ever since he took her on their first date and bought her ice cream. Meanwhile John McCain's wife Cindy says she's been in love with McCain ever since he hit her over the head with a club and dragged her back to his cave."

"At the Democratic convention, Trojan condoms has set up a pavilion where they're handing out thousands of free condoms. Apparently they're doing this in case John Edwards shows up."

"John McCain's campaign told President Bush that despite his low popularity he will be allowed to speak at the first night of the Republican convention. They also told Bush that the convention starts in December."

"The latest rumor in Hollywood is that Jamie Lynn Spears and the father of her child may be breaking up. The rumor got started when people noticed they weren't sitting together during homeroom."

"Today, the FAA computer that controls flightplans had a serious breakdown. There were flight delays at every major airport in the United States … and then the FAA computer broke down."

"Fox News reports that a New York City man recently spent $10,000 on a bar mitzvah for his dog. Not only that, instead of having his dog neutered, he had him circumcised."

"In India, filmmakers are being sued for making a rip-off of Harry Potter called 'Hari Puttar.' Apparently the Indian Harry Potter has the magical ability to fix computers."

"This week, "American Idol" announced that this season they are adding a 4th judge. After hearing this, Paula Abdul said, 'What d'ya mean 4th? There's already, me, two Randys and two Simons.'"

"During the Democratic convention delegates are being warned not to drink too much. When asked why, Democratic officials said: 'Last time we got drunk at our convention – we ended up nominating Walter Mondale.'"

"This week the publisher Simon & Schuster came out with a children's book about Barack Obama. They also came out with a children's book about John McCain called, 'Horton gets a Hearing Aid.'"

"A woman in Illinois has discovered that her Jeep Cherokee used to be owned by Barack Obama. You can tell the Jeep is Obama's because Hillary Clinton keeps trying to get in the driver's seat."

"Starting next fall, MC Hammer will be starring in his own reality show. MC Hammer's show will air on the 'Will Work for Food' Network."

"A new study has found that Canada is one of the top suppliers of the drug ecstasy in the entire world. Police became suspicious when they noticed people excited to be in Canada."

"Barack Obama's historic acceptance speech is tonight. Political experts say that John McCain is going to try to steal attention away from the Democrats tonight by leaking the name of his running mate. Experts say that there's a pretty good chance McCain will leak something else too."

"Last night at the Democratic Convention Bill and Hillary Clinton were in the elevator together when it got stuck between floors for five minutes. A spokesman called it a 'minor technical glitch' while Bill called it, 'My own personal hell.'"

"Barack Obama is planning to get his daughters a dog if he's elected president and most voters asked think he should get a poodle. Proving that Americans are not only ready for a black president, they're also ready for a gay First Dog."

"Tomorrow, both John McCain and Michael Jackson will celebrate their birthday. So it will be the birthday of an old white guy…and John McCain."

"This week in Chicago, a Dunkin' Donuts was robbed by a man wearing a gorilla mask. or it was robbed by a gorilla wearing a suit and tie."

"Yesterday in Atlanta, a 78-year-old woman got confused and rode the luggage conveyor belt on to the airplane. As a result, she's the only passenger who arrived at her destination with her luggage."

"Yesterday a woman gave birth to a baby while she was flying on a plane to Australia. Doctors say the baby is healthy - even though he came out counterclockwise."

"A new book claims that Britney Spears wanted to hire a hitman to get rid of Kevin Federline. Luckily, the hitman turned out to be the one guy lazier than Kevin Federline."

"Yesterday, police had to be called to O.J. Simpson's house because O.J. was attacked by his daughter. Apparently, O.J. was really upset with his daughter and said: 'You call that an attack?'"

"Earlier today, John McCain surprised everyone by choosing a younger woman as his running mate. So congratulations, Angela Lansbury!"

"When John McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his running mate she referred to herself as a 'hockey mom.' For those of you who don't know, a "hockey mom" is a 'soccer mom' with fewer teeth."

"Barack Obama's historic speech was last night - Oprah Winfrey was among the 75,000 people in the audience. Afterwards, Oprah was so moved by the experience she gave everybody in the stadium a Ford Fiesta."

"The Spanish Language Channel Telemundo is in on the action. They've titled their coverage of the Democratic Convention 'Gran Celebracion Democratica.' The channel plans to call next week's Republican convention: 'Gringos De Prostate Grande.'"

"It's been announced that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will probably skip next week's Republican convention in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Which is a real shame because everyone was looking forward to hearing Arnold say 'Minneapolis, Minnesota.'"

"Michael Jackson turned 50 today and he said he wants to spend the day watching cartoons with his kids. Then tomorrow, he'll go back to watching cartoons with someone else's kids."

Did you watch this interview or interrogation on CNN? I know the questions needed to be asked but I thought CNN anchor Campbell Brown was a little flippant when she called him "babe" at the end of the conversation. Some people believe Sen. John McCain's spokesman Tucker Bounds blew it when he couldn't answer the question about Gov. Palin's experience.  

What's your opinion?

 

FYI, "Gossip Girl" is back on The CW.

I had the opportunity to watch the first three episodes of the second season and OMG! It’s that good.

I don’t know how they pack so much drama into one episode.

The season kicks off with Serena and Nate summering in the Hamptons.

Serena is trying to mend her broken heart after her breakup with Dan while Chuck is also unsuccessfully trying to forget about Blair.

Nate is in a new relationship with a married woman (in a car and at her guest house and in the library) and Blair arrives in town with a guy who isn’t who he claims to be.

The first three episodes include three fabulous parties, a couple of breakups, a couple of royals, romps on the beach, fireworks and plenty of XOXO.

Don't read any further because I've got some spoilers:

Can I just put this out there? I think Serena and Dan are sooooo boring. They are a boring couple. Last season, I was loving them together and now I couldn't care less if they ever see each other ever again. I'm fickle. The best scene in one of the first three episodes was when a couple of young girls stops them on the streets and scolds them for getting back together. You see, yes Dan and Serena get back together and then try to stay apart and then get back together and get together in a bus lavatory. They later get stuck together in an elevator during a blackout. That's right there is going to be a blackout. Oh, they also get back together after meeting up at the White Party and get together on the beach.

My favorite couple is Blair and Chuck. OK, they are not a couple any longer. But they are extremely attracted to one another. I love the lines that come out of Blair's mouth especially when they are aimed at Chuck. She called him a "motherchucker." Her rapid fire conversations remind me of the "Gilmore Girls" if they were both spoiled rotten. In the first three episodes, Blair is using a man to try to make Chuck jealous. The dude turns out to be a Lord and his step mom is a Duchess. BTW, she's the one having the affair with Nate.

Blair starts having feelings for the Lord when she finds out he is royalty. But his step mom doesn't ever like any of the women he dates. Now, is there something going on between the Lord and his step mom? Luckily for her, Blair walks in when Nate and the Duchess Katherine are having sex so she uses that to get into her good graces.

There's also a lot going on with Jenny. She's got an internship with Blair's mom at her design studio. She also gets fired when she criticizes her clothing.

Dan and Jenny's dad has been out on tour and Nate's dad is in hiding and all of the family's assets have been frozen. That's why Nate decides to ask the Duchess for some cash and why he can't get out of their relationship. Essentially, he's become a gigolo.