Telly Vision

Another great night of TV. "Worst Week" will finally have its wedding and everything is going to go wrong. And there will be a lot of nudity on this week's "How I Met Your Mother." And on ABC's "Dancing With The Stars," there  are three couples left vying for the trophy -- Lance Bass, Brooke Burke and Warren Sapp.

8 p.m.

Dancing With The Stars -- ABC

8:30 p.m.

How I Met Your Mother -- CBS

9 p.m.

Prison Break -- Fox

One Tree Hill -- CW

Heroes -- NBC

9:32 p.m.

Samantha Who? -- ABC

According to today's Stroller column, the Beacon Drive-In will be featured tonight on Guy Fieri's "Best of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives." The episode airs at 10 p.m. Co-owner Sam Maw and JC Stroble were interviewed for the segment.

It will also air at 1 a.m.

Someone please record and post to YouTube.

Two of my favorite shows end their seasons tonight. Too soon, I say. Those shows would be "True Blood," and "Entourage," on HBO.

There's also a pretty strong lineup on the 2008 American Music Awards on ABC. You've also got the Colts vs. the Chargers on NBC and new episodes of "Dexter" and "Californication" on Showtime. And "24" is back on Fox.

A lot of choices. So set your DVRs, Tivos or VCRs.

8 p.m.

2008 American Music Awards -- ABC

The Amazing Race -- CBS

24: Redemption -- Fox

8:15 p.m.

Colts vs. Chargers

9 p.m

Cold Case -- CBS

True Blood -- HBO

Dexter -- Showtime

10 p.m. 

Entourage -- HBO

Californication -- Showtime

10:30 p.m.

Summer Heights High -- HBO

Before you stuff your face with Thanksgiving turkey, Comedy Central has two holiday comedy specials Sunday night to satisfy your funny bone.

First off is Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special at 9 p.m.

Then at 10 p.m. is "A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!" Besides host Stephen Colbert, the special is packed with star power including Toby Keith, Elvis Costello, Feist, Jon Stewart, Willie Nelson and John Legend.

Colbert is trapped in his cabin by a bear and can't get to his Christmas special. Yep, it's one wacky but funny holiday special. There's goats with antlers, goats with mouse ears, Toby Keith is singing a song about the "enemies of Christmas," John Legend is singing about Nut Meg, Willie Nelson is the fourth Wise Man in the Nativity Scene and Feist is an angel.

If you can't catch the special on Comedy Central Sunday night, "A Colbert Christmas" will be quickly released on DVD Tuesday.

Extras on the DVD include a Book Burning Video Yule Log, a Video Advent Calendar where everyday Colbert will give you a piece of holiday advice. There is also alternate endings to the specials and a bonus Christmas song.

There are a lot of hilarious new Christmas songs on this special and you can almost guess what Willie Nelson has brought as a gift for the new baby in the manger.

"Twilight" sucks, bites and every other vampire cliche I can think of.

Based on the best-selling novels by Stephenie Meyer, in director Catherine Hardwicke's hands, "Twilight" has been drained its blood, essentially its reason for being.

The story focuses on Bella (a miscast Kristen Stewart), who is described as "emotionally lost" but who somehow meets and makes a lot of cool kid, newspaper staff friends as soon as she arrives at her new high school in Forks, Wash. We know she is emotionally lost because she dresses like a skater kid and always has her iPod to her ears. I wonder what she's listening to? Probably music for emotionally lost kids.

Bella has moved to live with her police officer dad while her mom travels with her new husband who is a minor league baseball player. Mom and daughter seem to have a good relationship since they always talk to one another on the phone. The director makes a point of this and I'm not sure why. Bella actually seems to have two good parents. Bella is more like her dad, who also keeps to himself a lot and doesn't realize his daughter is about to meet the man of her dreams.

The guys at school are definitely interested in Bella but she's curious about the Cullen family -- who all look like very pale Abercrombie & Fitch models. Who knew vampires cared so much for hair care? That's a lot of hair gel that family uses so I guess they don't care how they are hurting the ozone layer which shields them from that hot sun.....

It's love at first sight between Edward and Bella. He gives her the creepy stare and also appears to get sick to his stomach when he first sees her. She starts to smell her hair making sure she doesn't smell or something.

He hides out for awhile and then reappears ready to make conversation. The audience has to endure this awkward dance for about an hour into the movie.

Then Edward saves Bella when a driver loses control of his vehicle and almost plows into Bella. He flies to her rescue leaving a big dent in the out-of-control vehicle. The very same thing happened on an episode of "Smallville." Is he Superman or a vampire?

Bella doesn't understand how he came to her aid so quickly and how he left a huge dent in the vehicle. How does he read people's minds? Why is his skin so cold? His face so pale? Why do his eyes change colors? Why, why, why? And why is she the only one asking these questions in this town? Are all of these kids clueless?

And why do all of the high school age children in the Cullen family appear more like couples than brothers and sisters? And why do they all look old enough to be the school's teachers rather than fellow students? And how do they get out of school when the sun is shining?

Finally, Edward spills all his secrets to Bella, who doesn't bat an eye. He calls himself a killer, a monster, plus he can move at the speed of light or The Flash. Still she doesn't flinch. He also said he wanted to drain her blood but stopped himself. Still, she thinks he's oh so cool.

In town, and in the surrounding counties, people are dying from what is believed to be an animal.

But the movie sticks to the "modern-day love story" and we see Bella going to have dinner with Edward's family. Finally, my interest picked up. The Cullen characters had some personality but unfortunately they are given short shrift.

Finally, we get to see who is doing all of the killing. It's a band of bad vampires. Unfortunately, these characters are also drawn thinly. What's their backstory? Why so hungry for blood? Why are vampires so interested in baseball?

I left this movie thinking there must be more to this than what I just saw on the big screen. I had more questions than answers. What about the bad blood between the Cullen family and the Native American characters? It's all in Stephenie Meyer's books. At least that's what I've been told. 

Well, at least, the movie has given me the desire to read the books. Because yes there will be a sequel. Blood thirsty fans will demand it.    

Twilight is rated PG-13 for adult situations and violence. Locally, the film can be seen at Spartan 16, Carmike 7, Hollyood 20.

Link: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b69827_barbara_walters_snaps_back_rosie.html

It's getting good folks.

Rosie O'Donnell has a new live variety show premiering next week on NBC. And while promoting it in an interview, she dissed the false friendships of the ladies who work on The View.

Madame Barbara Walters fired back on the show Thursday saying how she couldn't understand why people who leave the show have to keep dumping on it. And something about if the shoe fits ... get on with your life. 

Then Rosie posted a blog in response. She listened. She made faces. She threw in an Eminem song. She screamed "Lady" like Jerry Lewis.

I'm not saying this is a cat fight. But.... 

See the link above to watch all the fireworks.  

My iPod died last week. No explanation. It was just lifeless one day when I went to use it.

Yeah there was that time a few weeks ago when I got soaked in a downpour while walking/running on the Mary Black Trail. My iPod was like a wet rag when I finally got back home ... but that time it came back to life.

Not this time.

What makes it weirder was that I had just been featured in Spartanburg Magazine in a revealing interview: What's on my iPod?

Now nothing is on my iPod. It's dead, dead, dead.

Now my iPod is dead. Only days after I had added music from some CDs including a Pure Funk CD.

Did all that funk music kill my iPod?

Luckily I had bought an iPod Nano to watch videos when I travel. So now my Nano is doing double duty -- music and movies/TV shows.

Here are some of the new songs I've added to my iPod. Yeah, I was feeling a little nostalgic for songs I grew up -- good or bad they take me back to a time when I used lots of hair spray on my hair.

"Addicted to Love," Robert Palmer

"Brick House," by The Commodores

"Cars," Gary Numan

"Celebration" by Kool & The Gang

"Devil with a Blue Dress On," Mitch Ryder

"Every Time I Turn Around Back In Love Again" by L.T.D.

"Forget Me Nots," by Patrice Rushen

"Funkytown," by Lipps Inc.

"Good Times" by Chic

"Heart of Glass," Blondie

"Hot Stuff," Donna Summer

"Jungle Boogie," by Kool & The Gang

"Knock on Wood," Amii Stewart

"Kung Fu Fighting," by Carl Douglas

"Lady Marmalade" by Labelle

"Le Freak" by Chic

"Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress," by The Hollies

"Magic Carpet Ride," Steppenwolf

"Mickey," Toni Basil

"Peace Train," Cat Stevens

"Pick Up The Pieces," Average White Band

"The Power," Snap!

"Pump up the Jam," Technotronic

"Safety Dance," Men Without Hats

"Spirit in the Sky," Norman Greenbaum

"Sunglasses at Night," Corey Hart

"Super Freak," Rick James

"Sweet Dreams," Eurythmics

"Tell Me Something," Rufus

"That's The Way I Like It," K.C. and The Sunshine Band

"True," Spandau Ballet

"Up Around The Bend," Creedence Clearwater

"Word Up," Cameo

And after I finished writing this blog.....my trusty iPod came back to life.  

I'm in a mood to rant and rave.

On my rave list is this season's episodes of "Gossip Girl," "Dancing with the Stars," "Survivor:Gabon," "Ugly Betty," "The Office," "Criminal Minds," "The Amazing Race," "Entourage," "True Blood," and "Friday Night Lights."

On my rant list is all of the "exclusive" interviews with Gov. Sarah Palin or the pregnant man. Do we really need to know that Gov. Palin makes moose burgers for the kids and that the pregnant man may be pregnant again. But every anchor and TV reporter from Matt Lauer to Barbara Walters was scrambling to get these exclusives. And don't get me started on all those stories on the Obama family's new puppy. And what about all the speculation with Hillary Clinton and the Secretary of State's job? TV news shows will beat a story to death.  

Another rant is Britney's new video for "Womanizer." She repeats the word Womanizer over and over again and over and over again. How hard was that song to write? Plus, the video is borderline adult entertainment with Britney half-dressed writhing or dancing to the beat. Yes, she looks fantastic and I am glad the pop star is no longer bald and beating cars with bats and allegedly fighting addictions. But is this the best we can expect from her? Is this the best we can expect from any artist in 2008?  

I am obsessed with HBO right now. I can't get enough of "True Blood."

"True Blood" is the new vampire series from creator Alan Ball ("Six Feet Under").

It's set in Lousiana and centers on siblings Sookie (sounds almost like sucky), a mind reader who has fallen in love with a vampire named Bill; and Jason Stackhouse, a cocky, sex-obsessed bad boy whose last two dates ended up as murder victims. Jason is half-dressed or naked most of the time because he is always bedding a different lady almost every night.

If you haven't seen the show, vampires have come back out into the open. They say they want to co-exist with humans but they really only have blood on their minds. Humans are also fascinated with vampires and drink V which is blood from vampires. V makes people experience sex at a heightened level. But take too much and you will have to go to the emergency room and experience the worst surgical procedure imaginable.  

So far the series has introduced a shape shifter, had an exorcism and will probably soon introduce werewolves into the mix.

There are only two episodes left. Sookie and Bill are apart at the moment. Bill killed another vampire and has been punished. Sookie finds out that her boss isn't who she thought he was. Jason has hooked up with a woman who kidnaps vampires and sucks them of all their blood so she can always have a fresh supply of V.

Tara paid to have an exorcism of herself since she believes she has an evil spirit inside of her.

New episodes air at 9 p.m. on Sunday nights. And HBO shows marathons all the time so it's easy to catch up.

My favorite characters so far are the actors who play Jason, Tara and LaFayette.

Anna Paquin who plays Sookie is also fun to watch.

Oh, and I also love the opening music and images.

It was an emotional day on The View. After a year's worth of arguments and tears, Elizabeth said she supports President-elect Barack Obama. 

Cartoon Network has just announced that King of the Hill will join its Adult Swim lineup in January. The show will air at 10 p.m. every night.

"With King of the Hill joining Family Guy in our Adult Swim lineup we now have two of the greatest animated series ever made," said Mike Lazzo, senior vice president of programming and production for Adult Swim.

King of the Hill is in its 12th season on Fox and it was recently reported that this will be its final season on the network.

Vote on Tuesday.

P.S. You'll get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks! 

I voted today. And I hear that you can also get a doughnut at Krispy Kreme and a deal at Chic-Fil-A if you show your sticker.

I have to agree with comic Bill Maher. I was watching his show "Real Time with Bill Maher" this weekend on HBO. Basically, he said anyone who says they are sick of this election is crazy. He called it the Best Election Ever -- copying VH1's Best Week Ever title.

I agree. Besides the historical significance of Sen. Barack Obama's campaign and the excitement which Gov. Sarah Palin brought to the Republican ticket this year, there were a lot of other winners in this year's presidential campaign.

From CNN anchor John King's magic map to the pop culture re-emergence of "Saturday Night Live" and Tina Fey's pitch perfect and brilliant comic impersonation of Palin to David Letterman's "feud" with Sen. John McCain and even CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric making news with her tough interviews with Palin, McCain and Obama. And what about "Joe the Plumber?" Or Amy Poehler's Palin rap on Weekend Update?

What about those jokes on late night TV? Re-watching those great skits over on Youtube.com?

This has been the Best TV Election Ever.

One thing I will miss as I watch the results come in Tuesday night is Tim Russert's careful analysis on NBC. The Meet the Press anchor died unexpectedly earlier this year. Tom Brokaw made a welcome return to NBC to fill his spot temporarily.  

Tuesday night, will I watch the self-described Best Political Team on Television?

I'm a flipper. I like to flip to see what they are saying over on Fox News Channel to see what Karl Rove has to say and then a quick flip to MSNBC and then I'll flip back to CNN. 

But I also like to watch CBS, NBC and ABC news anchors discuss the results.

Who will be first to call it?

As a fan of pop culture, movies and all things entertainment, this year's presidential campaign could only be described as Shakespearean. Or like a really long Telenovela.

This will be one election season for the history books.